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Stuff about life

Posted on Mon Mar 20, 2017

The sun is already up. A pre–dawn post would feel more appropriate. That is the way it is.

At some point, many years ago, I decided to forget her. Yes, as a rational and conscious decision. The situation was unbearable. I was giving her too much power over me. Having her as first and last though, and all the thoughts in between, was consuming. I was running out of myself. It was not good.

I tried to go down a mental path in which I thought less about her. I tried to build a Pavlovian conditioning by associating negative thinking to the thinking about her. My neurons vs. my neurons.

It was hard. It was tightrope walking.

It is like pushing yourself. How do you push yourself?

There’s a memory of a small smile.

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